Those who knew of my shameless act in Alice’s wonderland would understand the modification in the title. Yes I fell asleep in the 3D version and yes, I made up for it by catching the 2D version. The Hatter’s riddle was sprinkled throughout the film and appeared even at the ending, leaving many to ponder what it actually meant. Let’s set the records straight; I have yet to read the original Lewis Caroll’s literature and yes, I do have a childhood despite of that, albeit not one as intellectual as some of you. I didn’t know the raven and the writing desk caused so much chaos for so many others until my dear Google told me so. Fortunately, I SU (stumbled upon) a really good compilation of answers (http://bit.ly/2Sj8). It seems that my HTML is failing me, either that or my wordpress here is ancient and due for a revamp. 

 Anyway, I felt that I have yet truly grasped the meaning of the show. While I cannot explain the show, I might be able to offer why I cannot do so. In the above compilation, there was a quote from Caroll’s original text: 

 Alice sighed wearily. “I think you might do something better with the time,” she said, “than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers.” 

Maybe life is a riddle, one that has no answers but that does not mean that we should stop questioning it, that we should stop asking ourselves who we are and who we want to be. As Alice searched through her memories and fought the many advertures, she managed to identify herself. I am sure many of us have the same experience and are able to connect to this section of the story, how we sometimes fall through the rabbit hole and find ourselves repeating silly acts such as the “grass-is-greener-over-there” and the mindless “i want to reach there but do not know where’s there and cannot even define there” acts. Yet how many of us can come out of the cinema, out of the rabbit hole to say, “ah I found myself”. I can’t. I am still searching. What about you?

It has been years since I’ve celebrated my birthday in style; 6 dinners and a couple of gifts. Well, on a day to day basis, friends of mine would have known that I am no birthday biggie; I seldom dish out pressies for birthday kids nor do I organise huge parties (or even attend them). Come to think bout it, rather odd for me to be celebrating my being on the wrong side of mid 20z. A colleague of mine asked me today “how old are you already?”, to which I proudly reply “26!”. Her instructional “what? other people 26 already a father!” left me dumbfounded. 

Anyway, I deeply appreciate the company and presents that I have received (and gave myself) this year. Thankew peepz. I heart all of you. Pictures galore!  

Waterproof Hiking Shoes 

Uber Cool Running Shoes 

HDR Guide Book by Chromasia

Ghostbuster Figurine

Aprons for Wannabe Chef 

I was dining at a random kopi-tiam in my usual uncle style a couple of evenings back when I saw this incident. The hawker who fried some decent horfun took a break after settling my dinner and went for a puff along the corridor (five-foot walkway). There were a couple of folks enjoying a cool beer along with some casual conversation. An old, tanned man was sitting by the parapet and was quietly enjoying his smoke for the evening. He seemed at ease and was visibly comfortable with his position; head resting against the wall, staring blankly into space possibly visualizing the smoke patterns coming out of his nostrils. The night is young for him as the cold glass of beer sits untouched by his side. The hawker went to join him, took a casual glance and sat.

I was enjoying my book (actually trying my best to finish it, it has been a month since i started on it) and the dinner. I must say the green chili was an excellent companion to the semi-dried horfun. A loud noise (some say cheer) broke the regular beat of the clashing kitchen utensils; a toddler entered the scene and transformed all the adults surrounding her. I could hardly recognise the contorted faces as teeth flashed and eyes squinted. The kid ambled along, rather unsteadily and gave the hawker a hug. She was small and her head thumped into the beer belly of the old chinese man. The girl stayed in the position momentarily and the hawker’s smile oozed with bliss. It was obvious that the girl was unrelated to the

Not the brainiest of titles but I felt an urge to write; to keep my sanity in check and to remind myself of what it feels to have my thoughts flowing (regardless of the writing style or lackthereof). 

Anyway, I ran. It must have been months since I ran because the running shoes felt really stiff. They came out of the cupboard looking really upset, like kids from a faraway orphanage whose birthdays have been forgotten. I tried wearing them but they refuse to conform to the shape of my feet and I even felt a tinge of struggle. Nevertheless I continued and their reluctance slowly faded into the night as I picked up speed. Maybe they too were indulging in the breezy, cool night; I could hear them squeaking with each step, whistling to the rhythm that I have set. 

The run was mundane although calmness did overcome me. I like how the quiet park and HDB flats bring peace to my mind. Especially the huge open space infront of the mosque, it’s like a giant vacuum that is able to suck out every single strand of emotion, worry, confusion, stress… and leave you really empty. It’s not too bad a feeling; being empty because as I jogged back to my flat, as I eat up the path alongside the busy traffic, everything else seems to come back bit by bit. Kind of like connecting to starhub these days, the data packets being delivered really slowly.  

I wonder if the humidity is on the higher side tonight because I perspired as if I just came out of a steambath. I never actually had the luxury of going to steambaths until Gil invited me over couple of years back. It was my first and only time. Pretty gay experience if you ask me but we shall leave that to another day. Perspiration beads kept forming, each merging to another to finally tip the scale and rolls down my body. I stood butt naked infront of the mirror, feeling each drop splashing onto the floor or streaming down my calf. I kinda enjoyed it; felt like I actually detoxified my body.

Then I showered. After feeling detoxified, I didn’t feel a need to wash my body except letting the water run the perspiration off. I turned the tap to the right to splash some cold water over my steamingly hot body. I wanted to say that I turned the tap to the blue area which usually indicates cool water but the colour sticker had faded and I could only rely on my instinct. What if my brain short-circuit tomorrow and I run the tap in the other direction? Hmmm. Maybe I should get some new stickers.

Have you ever washed your hair and tried opening your eyes? I always do and never once did I get sting by the shampoo. I remember a commercial for a kids shampoo brand that prides itself for not making our eyes tear even if the foam does get into them. They must be cheating. I never used their products before and I never tear in the toilet, yet. Anyway, I peeped at my fringe while I was shampooing my hair and the vision was slightly interrupted by my hands who were viciously scrubbing away. It sorted look like an old projector showing a film of my fringe bouncing around at really slow frame rate. Not that it matter because I can always look at my fringe without my hands blocking my view. I think I’ve written enough. Hmmm. What a night.  

Random stop-and-search procedures are necessary to preserve safety in modern urban neighbourhoods. 

Random stop-and-search procedures typify the belief of ‘prevention is better than cure’ with an inherent implication of ‘never trust anyone’, and has been raised as a possible solution to the raising crime rates in urban neighbourhoods. While safety and security are the top priorities of many, such measures are certainly unnecessary to maintain law and order within modern urban neighbourhoods.

Technological advances in security measures have crept their way into the homes and neighbourhoods in the forms of micro-cameras and sophisticated alarm systems that are directly connected to the local law enforcers. In modern urban neighbourhoods, many have already decorated their homely facade with such gadgets that undoubtedly will act as both a deterrence and a prevention to better preserve safety within the area. Random stop-and-search procedures will also be irrelevant in neighbourhoods with strong communal ties.  

Besides violating the freedom and privacy rights of an individual, stop-and-search procedures are also hardly ever random. These checks, carried out by human law enforcers, are subjective and often serve to further entrench any social stigma on certain groups of individuals. In the award winning film “Crash”, a law enforcer carried out a random stop-and-search procedure on a black couple and sexually assaulted the lady while white people walked about, bringing out the racial tension often associated with ‘random’ checks. Stop-and-search procedures may still find their place in preserving safety in modern urban neighbourhoods but protocols and rules of engagement have to be determined and not leave the ‘randomness’ to the whims-and-fancies of law enforcers.

Perhaps the only time when random stop-and-search procedures may be justified is when nobody can differentiate friends from foes. The US deployments in Afghanistan and Iraq were initially sent to maintain security and safety of the people while the new governments establish and stabilise. Yet they are threatened by small splinter groups of terrorists who take pride in blowing up American soldiers and their innocent fellow countrymen. Random stop-and-search procedures may be the only way to save the lives of many in the neighbourhood and thus the ends justify the means. 

Random stop-and-search procedures are unnecessary, with a few exceptions, to preserve safety within modern urban neighbourhoods  and should not be considered in on the basis of individual human rights. 

Remember how we always lamented “these things only happen in the movies” when we heard of stories that threatened to turn us all lachrymose? As we age, we accumulate experiences in life and you end up facing these situations directly or indirectly, through a friend or maybe through a relative, no matter how, they bound to happen some day. And when we are caught in those situations, we awake to the reality that we have been so oblivious all these while, we get caught unaware of the very things we subconsciously chose to ignore, we face life as it is, in its purest and most naked form. To hold truth by its bare hands and shake it with a shudder in the heart. 

When I was young, I always thought a family consisted of a father, a mother, grandparents, aunties, uncles, lovely cousins and a sister. I heard stories of broken family, cheating spouses and tragedies of all kinds but I never once took them seriously because they are so distant from me, so far flung that I cannot imagine how terrible and senseless people can get when they muddle in things they should have fled from in the beginning. I never thought stupid people existed, at least not in the number that I have seen recently, but they do and maybe I, unknowingly, am one of them. 

And then I got to know people who were cheated, whose mother got cheated, whose family got torn by the ruthlessly selfish lust of a third party. I sympathized, I pity, I feel sorry and I condemn - a mixture of feelings that was naturally conjured. And then things changed. I got to know of people who were on the side that cheated, whose father cheated and left the first wife, who destroyed happiness for their ruthlessly selfish lust and indiscipline. I tried to sympathize, I tried to understand how things unfolded to their current state - it was a different mixture of feelings.

Many more stories flooded my mind as I left my adolescence and soon enough I was inured to these unfortunate but inevitable parts of life. And then it happened, to my aunt this time round.

When my sister related the story to me, I told her it is part of life and such things do happen. But she rebuked me and it did strike me.

This is not just another person, she is my aunt. All too close for comfort. My heart aches.  

I think this is going to be one of the rare times where I actually reverse my decision so quickly. The change in working hours is not benefiting me at all. It has improved my job efficiency, so much so that I end up with nothing to do for the last 2 hours of the day. Plus, the traffic conditions fluctuate too much for me to plan my schedule. If I were to meet with a delay, I cannot pus the tuition timings any later and it is unprofessional to turn up consistently late! The same occurs in the morning because I simply cannot afford (monetary wise) to leave the house any earlier. If some dumb *** were to *** up the high ways, i’m done for it! Hence the decision to sacrifice sleep for a much more reliable time table is one that I have to make. 

On the brighter side, I can at least catch my parents before the leave the house in the morning and before they turn in at night. This new working time simply robs precious minutes away from me family bonding. In the end, they are the ones that motivate us to work harder right? I heart you papa mama! 

There are so many things on my mind that I simply cannot condense them into mere words. Nonetheless, any writing is better than none and there is no better place to organise my own thoughts than my own blog. Deserted as it is, this is one place filled with memories and grammatical errors that allow me to indulge in some self reflection and reminiscing. 

What shall I blog about then? Ah! let me start with the smallest things and the most recent one. I changed my working hours. There is a flexi hour program at work, one that allows a choice of starting time between 0700Hrs - 0930Hrs. I switched to the latest one because of the following:

1. The office is ghostly quiet after 1730Hrs, giving me 180 mins worth of quality working time. I am confident that I can accomplish more in that short window than the entire day of crap.

2. I get to wake up with after the sun.

3. I get to drive in slightly more comfortable conditions. In the morning, I head towards the west and have the sun behind me; less glaring. In the evening, I head home after the sun visits my friends in US. I love driving at night btw.

4. I get better mileage on the car (in terms of fuel economy). 80% of my journey resides on the expressway. If I go by my old schedule, average speed is about 60+ km/h. The new schedule allows me to achieve 80+ km/h on the highways.

5.  I get to spend less time with the her/them. 

6. I am rich and I want to repay the society through ERP.  

The first few scenes got me dropping my jaw and the hinges stayed stiff till the end of the show. While I do not actually support the active persecution of them, I was uncomfortable with the propaganda of the morally correct-ness of the act itself. We cannot press forward beliefs based on a certain faith or in some places a few faiths, not even when these beliefs are those of the majority. Yet the tolerance and the active protest against the discrimination seem to vindicate their actions and choice of sexuality. Which begs the question - what kind of message are we sending out to the society when we actively persecute those we deem wrong based on our religion or when we choose to lay back and tolerate them as part of a harmonious multifaceted society; the converse similarly intriguing - when we choose to be activists for the rights of those deemed wrong by the majority or when the choice to remain as a closet believer stands. I struggle for words to string together proper thoughts but it might be the late hour getting to me or probably the intensity of the show and the clashing thought of how right the wrong seems are rendering me illogical. 

I know i have not been blogging for the longest time and unless i’m on your rss feed, there’s little probability that you will be reading this. Anyway, as reminded by chiew, i thought i should write something to make my subscription to the domain worthwhile. 

I am on course for the next two months and is subjected for this period of time to public transport. Something occurred today and it was rather interesting [to blog about].

For those of you who do not already know (open google homepage and see the beautiful deco, click on it you dumbo!), today is Earth’s day. It is a day dedicated to our planet and Panasonic APac decided to sponsor some bus rides in selabrasinya (the celebration of). I was fortunate enough to catch a bus ride (no. 16) on my way home.

The bus greeted me with a green sticker screaming “FREE BUS RIDE” and on board, the ezlink machines were sealed with prominent plastic bags. Well, no wonder the bus was particularly crowded. At one of the stops, the bus got full inevitably and some passengers could not get on. Two ladies beside me were engaged in random conversations and one of them suddenly remarked “wah see, some of them cannot get on. They must be saying ‘wah f**k, free bus ride cannot get on, next one must pay leh!’ “.

Besides the obvious graciousness, the remark triggered a thought in me - since Singaporeans are so hard up for free gifts, should not all Singaporeans embrace Christianity, a religion that brands itself as salvation by grace? Imagine yourself reaching a bus stop immediately after your death and a bus comes along with a tag “free salvation”. The door opens and you ask the bus driver “where to?” The reply “heaven”. And you, a typical Singaporean, enthusiastically question “wah, heaven ah? for how long can stay there?” 

“Eternal”

“hmmm, eternal like very long hor? like that expensive anot ah?”

“it’s free.”

 ”free!? you mean don’t need to tap ezlink card ah?”

“yah, just acknowledge me as your personal driver (saviour)”

“really anot, so simple meh? what’s your name?”

“Christ, Jesus Christ”

“wah so cool…like James bond. Aiyah, free one I take lah”

Perhaps there are only a few true blue Singaporeans and thank God i’m one of them.